Parmentier. Jaargang 15

[p. 37]

Josien Laurier
Proza

HI. MY NAME IS KATYA AND I AM PROUD TO BE A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED States of America.

I am glowing with pride and I will do so till the day I die.

There is a difference between life and death, you know.

As the old poets said: you are born with nothing, and you can't take anything with you in your grave, on your way to the other world.

But in between, you know.

In between, you can be a king.

You can be an empress.

You can put your feet on earth that belongs to you, you can touch things that you own, things that you worked for, things that you love, things that embody your sense of belonging, of style and taste and personal upbringing.

You can stretch boundaries.

You can stretch and stretch and find out that things are stretching along with you, that they cling to you, that they love you, that they want your gaze, your excitement, your admiration, that the world around you grows larger and larger, and that you fit in so nicely, so perfectly, as if it was made for you. There is nothing wrong with believing that it was in fact made for you. On the contrary: the moment you start believing it does, it does indeed, as if it is governed by a law: the law of obedience to enterprising people.

All you need is willpower.

Optimism.

And belief.

You have the right to be there, exactly in the middle of the things and the people you love. You are the sunshine on which they feed, they grow in your expectations, your acknowledgement, and they are so happy you are there, because then they know for sure they are there too. The world is a chaos that needs the needs of people.

We bring order, by bringing love.

We gather the ugly raw material around us in such a way that it becomes beautiful, because our sense shines through on them, because we make these things make sense. And they love us for that. They start to shine for that. They glow with happiness.

Of course, we have to work to accomplish that.

My body is beautiful because I love it, and because I give it what it needs, and because I am proud of it. The people I love I treat with the same care. And as for the things I love, I give them the same treatment. I love the sun that shines on me, I love the grass that grows for me, I love the people that work for me, I love the kids that love me, I love the man that loves me, I love every single inch of this world that belongs to me, through my appreciation, my work, my care, and my money.

[p. 38]

Now, in no part of this world are these things better arranged than in the United States of America.

I don't know why or how, but somehow the builders of our state knew how wonderful, how delicious this sense of belonging is - in both ways. When we give of ourselves to the world, the world gives us back so much. And we should celebrate this exchange. We should grow in it. We should not hesitate, but go into these uncultivated fields and give it our glory, mark it with our refinement, rearrange it, and own it. Not being afraid of owning, of bearing the responsibilities for people and things, so that they will produce the best that they are capable of, that is the spirit of the Virginia Declaration of Rights. It is about the rights that we should not be afraid of, but that we should embrace.

The right to own.

The right to sell.

The right to make profit.

The right to grow, and to make the whole world shine.

Indeed, we own the world.

We are 300 million individuals, but as a nation, we own the world.

We own the oil in the Middle East. Because we invented the automobile. We own the Jews. Because Europe spit them out. We own the moon. Because we undertook the pains to visit this shining planet, this deep melancholy planet, this goddess, this mirror, so close to us and yet so mysterious. We own science. Because we feed the most brilliant people of this planet, we give them the surroundings where they can thrive, we stimulate them, even in wartimes. We own art. Because we provide the galleries, the means of exposure, the collectors, the fame. We own fame. Because we invented it. We own pop music. Because we invented it. We own money. Because we made it.

We thrill people from all over the world.

Everybody who feels that he has something to say or to show to the world at large, comes to us. Everything that happens, happens because of us.

We own wars.

Because we make them.

We own the princes, the dukes, the earls, the sheiks and the shahs.

Even those who hate us, love us.

They all want to be Americans.

We own terrorism.

Because we caused it.

Even in the north of Spain, the cold wet of Ireland, the frantic agony of Berlin, the deserts of the world.

We own famine.

Because we own.

[p. 39]

We own God.

Because we believe in Him.

We own democracy.

Because our president bought his votes.

We work for whatever we acquire, we are never too proud to work, and to state, even these obvious words, we repeat them again and again, to make them true, every minute of our time. Ours is the language of the world. The poets, the philosophers, the politicians, the owners of industries, they all want to articulate their goals, their beliefs, their doubts, their longings, their pains, their visions, in one single language. Ours.

Because then they can be sure that they will find the ears that can listen.

They can communicate - poets from Persia, meat industry magnates from Argentina, with our words.

Taste our words.

They will make you rich.

They will make you owner of the earth, with all its misery, its glory, its fate.

Accept this much.

It is America's gift to men.

Embrace our dream.

It is yours.

Our songs vibrate in your nerves. They make you dance. They make you feel that you are an electable person in the democracy that governs the world. Everything is possible! No matter how black you are, in mind, skin, or heart: you may own this world. One day, you might buy it, indeed. Imagine! The sunflowers, weary of time. Saturn, that troublesome planet. The Globe Theatre in London, by the Thames. The death mask of Nefertiti. The sunflowers of Vincent Van Gogh. The manuscript of the Special Relativity Theory of Einstein. The Dead Sea Scrolls.

It is yours for the taking, if only you dare to believe in your right to own.

Do you have this special gaze?

Do you feel that these things are your proper surroundings?

Will the Shah of some Middle Eastern country bow for you?

Will he offer you perfumes, flowers, virgins, and the dazzling shade of a palace in the desert? Think twice!

I am Katya and I own a 3 month old Escalade, a mountain bike, a golden retriever, an apartment in San Francisco, a small health club with three trained teachers - one for spinning, one for power yoga, one for Pilates - and a free-lance physiotherapist, two boys - one four years, one seven years old - a husband and a lover, two parents, one grandma, several licenses and degrees, forty pairs of shoes, more than twenty handbags, a fresh hazelnut dye, perfect health, sixty three diaries, an I-Mac, more than twenty intimate friends in my home city and six friends overseas, that I can visit any time I want.

[p. 40]

I traveled all the continents.

I was on TV once, and five times in the local newspapers.

I was photographed with the mayor of our city once, as his wife joined our power yoga class when we first started it.

I own all the records of Madonna - and many more.

I own too much to mention.

And still.

Still I have my targets!

I desire to own, one day, the swimming pool, that I pass everyday on my way to my club. I think this pool is a beautiful thing, on a beautiful spot and I want to float on its water, and look at the clouds that are mirrored in it, and rejoice in the fact that it is mine. My water, my clouds, my sunbeds, my view of the sea. And there is more, much more. One day I want to wake up on a ranch in West Virginia, walk barefoot on the terrace, and look at the fields that surround it, beautiful green fields with Appaloosa's, and shine, because it is all mine. Yes, I want those white horses with the black polka dots, I want red cows to work with, and I want my sons to spend their summer vacations there. I want a private jet to bring them over. I want a Jacuzzi on a roof of an apartment in New York. And I want the wife of the president of the United States to join my health club.

I am thirty two years old now.

Ten years from now I will be a different person.

There will be more animals and people that gather around me, more things that belong to me, more air to breathe in, more earth that is mine.

There will be more of me.

I will have realized more of myself, and more things will have realized themselves because of me.

Whether or not I reach the goals I aim at now, whether or not I will acquire precisely the things that I mentioned, I doubt not that there will be more of me - one way or another. My priorities may shift, my targets may alter, my vision may broaden. I am a living person and I am not afraid of changes - I myself am prepared to grow, as a person. So I won't pin myself down on one object that may escape me, because it is not what I think it is. I change along with my perceptions, my perceptions change along with the things life offers me, and if there is more to my goals, then I won't hesitate to learn that, on a very deep level, and to adjust my attitude towards them.

I listen to my heart.

When my heart tells me something is right for me, then I do not hesitate, but I set out to discover the treasure that the thing holds for me, and once I laid this bare, I admire it, I adore it, I open up to it completely and I promise it that I will do whatever I can to remove the obstacles that separate it from me. Indeed, these obstacles start melting the moment I embrace the beloved object, be it a person, or a thing, or a piece of ground, and I already begin to envision how the

[p. 41]

work must be done. From that moment on the world is dotted with signs that point at my goal, and I follow them gladly.

Never my energies are scattered.

If I really love something, then everything makes sense, and even the most vehement adversity makes me sing for joy, because it is all about my favorite thing, the thing that is in my heart. As Marilyn Monroe sang: we all lose our shape in the end.

So why wait?

The treasures of this world are there to be discovered. We are living in a material world, you know. Roll over Beethoven, follow the sun, weehoo!

Doesn't music say it all?

And I am an American.

I roam around around around around around.

Round and round and up again I go!

I'm gonna rip it up, I'm gonna rock it up, I'm gonna ball it up!

Do you feel it?

I am sure that you feel it.

As Elvis sang: You'd better not mess with the US male my friend

Cause the US male, this male is gonna do you in.

We do!

We do you all in!

Cause we know what you want.

And you'd better believe us. Cause we're ding dong gorilla's and we're free to do what we want, any old time. Wir sind Berliner, and we have a dream!

Damn, Black Betty bambalam, we can work it out. We're the type of guys who never settle down, till the walls come tumbling down.

Don't play with us, cause you play with fire!

Oh yes, great balls of fire.

They brighten the sky of the Abendland, or whatever you call the distressed state of your affairs, and the pale morning sky of the Land of the Rising Sun.

Cause we know how to let the four winds blow. We let them blow, let them blow.

And you know it.

You've been through the motions before.

So come on come on, komm gib mir deine Hand.

Oh baby with the baby blue eyes.

Yeah.

Just call me stormy Monday, but you're barking up the wrong tree.

Cause I'm Katya, and I am proud to be a citizen of the United States of America.