Briefwisseling. Deel 1: 1608-1634

503. Aan sir Rob. Killigrew⁶⁾. (K.A.)

The cause I am to trouble you withall at this present is so full of justice on my side, that first I dare dispute it even before you, the next interessed in it of all men, and secondly doe presume to give over the advantage of better knowne and accustomed language, to free you of the paine of interpreting what shall be said to My Lady Killigrew⁶⁾, against whome by her owne will and, God knoweth, much against mine, I am to undertake indirectly this tedious quarrel, my custome being not to enter in contestations with ladies, as indeed I would have beene loth to stirr, even in reflexion, in this particular, were it not that, finding my honour so farr attained by it, I could not for shame neglect to disgage it.

The ground of all may be laid open by a plaine recital of your sonn Charles⁷⁾ his life, carriage and ending in these countries. It was, as you may remember, about my returning home from the last journey I made in England, that you thought fitt to send him page to the late Prince of Orange⁸⁾, desiring me, when I should come to the Haghe againe, to have an eye upon him and

6) Zie blz. 93.

6) Zie blz. 93.

7) Zie blz. 93, 134, 135, 151, 159, 164.

8) Charles Killigrew was al vóór Juli 1624 page van den Prins (zie blz. 151).

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direct his youth the best I could. A thing that I was not more bound and willing to promise, then actually readie to performe. How I performed it, as it is not convenient to be told by myself, so I dare call to witnesse for it not onely the courts of both Princes - nay this living Prince himselfe - but even the cheef and principal English gentlemen, that lived here all the while. The same courts and gentlemen shall testifie, how little I gained upon the poore youth, nay how, notwithstanding chiding, prayer, admonitions, inviting and entertaining of him at my mother's house and mine afterwards, from the very beginning to the ende of his service, it was not possible to divert him from the vilest and most infame company the Haghe afoards, as players, lackays and the like, with whom he rann headlong after all kinds of debauching. Even so farr, that for the conclusion of all, finding himself desperatly engaged in many debtes, and ayming at a full libertie of life, without the bonds of obedience, he left Prince, court and frends, without ever giving me so much as a pretexed reason of so shamefull a retreat, notwithstanding I did earnestly urge upon it, seeing him inclined to such a resolution, from which the truth is, I did endeavour to pull him of by all kind of frendly and sometimes threatning exhortations. Since, as I conceave, his businesse for debts going worse and worse, the next expedient was to turne souldiour. So with the English troopes he goes into Denmarck¹⁾, suffered, as may be thought, want and misery, and finaly turned home into England, where, having need, accused not, as the lost sonne, himself, but - which is the maine knott of all the business - others, and such others as least deserved it, to justifie his owne faults before his parents. He came again to us, at the siege of Bolduque, reconciled, as I saw, to his father and with new adresses from yourselfe to be receaved gentleman of the Prince his chamber. By the answeres of S.^r Ed. Harwood²⁾ and mine you saw then, how the Prince agreed it conditionally, so that, having first trained a pike under S.^r Edward's company for some moneths, he should by degrees be brought to the court againe, where, for consequence sake, he mought not be receaved so suddenly. The resolution taken, he getteth leave to goe for some businesse, as he told us, unto the Haghe, growes sick in the way at Rotterdam and suddenly dieth.

After all this, as I wondered, why Myladie your wife would leave divers of my letters touching this and other matters unanswered, or else, how so many could miscarrye, S.^r Ed. Harwood did me the favour to put me out of that incertaintie with the last of all, which being directed by him shurelie, at length I gott upon it a kind of answere, of which - to be the shorter - I will deliver you here a copie.

Sir, I can not but wonder that you sholde think it strange, what shadow[y] reason Myladie Killigrew had to deale with me in this fashion; I refer it to your owne consideration and to the truth of things, before recited. Onely intreating you to beleeve, that, whereas by many a witnesse and in Christian conscience I doe know myself free from doing otherwise with your sonne,

1) In het voorjaar van 1627. Toen zonden de Staten, op aandringen van den Koning van Engeland, vier Engelsche regimenten, die in hun dienst waren, onder bevel van kolonel Morgan, naar Denemarken, om Koning Christiaan bij te staan tegen de troepen des Keizers.

2) Sir Edward Harwood (1586?-1632), een Engelsch officier in dienst der Staten, is bij het beleg van Maastricht gesneuveld.

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then I would others did to me and mine, it greeveth me exceedingly to see my sincere will and affection payed with a rash and precipitated opinion of the vilest of all vices, unthankfullnesse, which, for all that I think, nor your contriemen, nor mine did ever taxe me but injustly. My calling, Sir, giveth me occasion to doe good to many, my inclination to more, and this is the reputation I dare bragg of before the world. Were it not so, could I have been so beastly, as to neglect both my promise and the many reasons I had in your house to thinke myself bound to the good and service of you and yours? It greeveth me, I say, to the sowle, and this is all. To Myladie your wife, who for a conclusion doth wish me all misery, I wish from God allmightie all good and happiness, desiring this onely favour at her hands, that, when at one time or other passion - which indeed in the fresh wounds of a mothers heart is to be excused - shall have made some roome for reason in her mind, she will be pleased to consider, that, as for the maine fault she maketh me guiltie of, for leaving her sonn a dying without assistance or consolation, the same thing could have happened to my wife or brother, while full of perpetuall businessse, and yet ignorant of what might happen to your sonn, I lay in the fields, some fortie miles from Rotterdam, banished from my owne howse and children the space of a full half yeare. Wither now falling sicke at Rotterdam, he lacked meanes or mony, I can not tell. S.^r Ed. Harwood at that time had taken him, as I told before, into his speciall care, and I am sure would not see him wante, no more than I, of what he might have need of for his pretended journey to the Haghe. Besides that, for my part, seeing him in better order and apparell, then he was wont to bee, I did not doubt but that, upon the reconciliation with his parents, he came well provided from them of necessarie meanes, so that then, I must confess, I offered him no monie, nor was asked any of him, as more then once heretofore I was accommodating him with what I shall know never, nor I was resolved to make mention of, knowing how much I owe you beyond it, and therefore craving pardon for having beene provoked to touch it here by the way. As for the stalmaster your ladie thinkes I durst not displease, seeing rather her sonn miscary, besides that I should little feare to displease him for a lighter cause, if he went out of reason, the letter he writes may speak for him and free him of the reproch, I never saw layd upon his good name, the truth being in this particular - and he is ready to sweare it solemnely - that he did never use whipping against your sonne, but once, where, God knoweth - and I am loth to speake it of a dead man - he deserved it dayly, when indeed both he and I did pitty his youth, as we ought to doe, the one for remembring of his parents love and affection, the other for hoping to deserve it, as then your coming over ambassador was held out of question¹⁾, and so little likelyhood, that either the stalmaster would willingly displease you, or I feare to displease him, upon the certain loss of your friendshipp. Thus farr, Sir, innocence forced me to stammer out my just and necessarie defense, by which having once decharged myself, I reste with the verie same affection to love and serve yourselfe, Myladie your wife and whosoever shall claime the same right in the name of both, so that, if my ungracefull words are unable to breed a new

1) Zie blz. 202, 203.

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impression of me in your minds, by a better argument and demonstration of a true and well meaning inclination to your service, I hope at last to shewe you, that without reason I have been thought unworthy the title of .... 30 March 1630.